Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Lately I haven't been able to escape this phrase running through my mind...."The place of warfare is actually the place you will find the most peace." This may not be true for everyone, but it certainly is for me. In a world where drama is around every corner, conflict and trials wait under every rock on the gravel road (or at least thats how it feels to me), I am constantly looking for peace and "normalcy". With trying to raise 2 kids to be radical world changers for the Kingdom of God, a husband in full time ministry, and serving a church that is advancing the Kingdom rapidly it seems that the stakes are high. I am not someone who likes conflict...in fact I hate it. Often just thinking about it makes my skin crawl! (which is not ok and I am in the process of refining that in me) In seasons of high stress I find myself obsessively cleaning my house and feel a tremendous need for "normal" family time. The irony in that is that nothing inside my spirit really wants a "normal" life! Normalcy in America is so not appealing to me. Who wants to sit around and watch oprah everyday and have that be the only interesting thing you have to talk about, or have your husband come home with a perfect meal set on the table that somehow never gets cold then retire to watching more tv in the pursuit to be entertained. I want my life to count for something marvelous! I want to spend my time making the disciples that Jesus asked me to. To raise my kids in the fear of the Lord and to train them in the way they should go so that they can have a long life of pursuing our King. To see the tormented set free...and really be free and stay free! To see the hurting, broken and sick be healed in a moment. To see the lost be saved and knit into the body, not just merely pray the prayer. THATS the "normalcy" I actually want! But of course the devil and his band of demons don't want that.
I'm not surprised that there is warfare and opposition to the way my family lives our lives. Of course the devil wants us to stop doing the things Jesus asked us to do. But I am surprised at how sneaky he is! More and more I find new ways that he is sneaking in the false doctrine of comfort or a thirst for the "normalcy" of the world. I find that my drive to control my surroundings so I can have a moment of peace is actually a demonic thought! Could it be? You might say, but Jesus wants us to have peace so creating peace is not a bad thing. But think about it...the place of the greatest peace is to be in the center of the will of God for YOUR life. It's different for every person, and for me, the center of His will is with all of my Ephesians 6 armor on, sword drawn, in fighter mode engaged in the battle with the warrior angels that are around me. THAT is really peace! I don't need more "rest" time...although I could use more sleep these days. What I need is to address the thoughts head on! To attack the things that come against the knowledge of God. When THAT happens rest WILL come. I have spent so much time thinking that I don't want to be in a war because I am really just wanting peace without realizing that the place of war is ACTUALLY the place where that peace is!
See Paul says we don't fight like we are beating air. We fight strategically from a place of already having the victory and we go for the jugular and we get the victory! Its not a timid, "oh, I hope I can overcome this struggle" fight. Its a full on war knowing that God Himself is with you and you can take Him at His word! I love the Rita Springer song, Holy Visitation, where she says, "I WAS MADE FOR WAR...I WAS MADE FOR BATTLE LORD!" And it's so true! We were made for battle and our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the devil and his army. So I am choosing again today to engage in the battle for my soul and the souls of others. And in that battle will be my peace....oh the irony.
Friday, September 24, 2010
My little lovely...Callie Lake Wortman! She was born 3 weeks ago (September 2nd, 2010) and I cannot believe she will be a month old soon! People have been asking how we got her name and I thought this would make a great first post story. After I found out I was pregnant and the first few weeks after when we began toss around names I began to have an interesting feeling about how we name children. I started to feel like God was saying that He already had a name for our little baby (not knowing if we were having a boy or a girl) and that we just needed to be patient until He revealed what that name was. It was as if I knew He was already calling the baby by name. After we found out we were having a girl we started narrowing the name options but nothing that we had previously liked seemed to be the right choice. I was looking at baby names online and came across "Callie" which means "Most Beautiful" in Greek. Something about it jumped out to me and I really felt that God was saying that was her name. Later we found out that Callie in Hebrew means "Fortress" and "Guarded of God" which resonated so clearly in my heart. I knew this is what the Lord has been calling her even from her first moment of life! During my pregnancy I ended up getting really sick and having pneumonia and having to stay in the hospital for 2 days. Then at about 7 months pregnant I was bit by a brown recluse spider and had to be on some very powerful antibiotics. Through all of these ups and downs and medications our little girl was completely unaffected! She truly was/is guarded by God!!
Her middle name, Lake, is for 2 reasons. Partly she is named after one of my husband and my heroes of the faith, John G. Lake. He was a mighty man of God with an unbelievable healing anointing as well as so many other supernatural gifts! Reading his sermons has ignited a move of God in our lives that is revolutionary and unique and so profound...you should look him up! The other part to her name comes from our feeling that she will be a woman with deep deep wells in the Lord. My husband felt so clearly from the Lord that she will have a deep connection with the Lord and he loved the idea of how a lake is naturally so deep. We are so excited to watch her grow up and grow in her faith!